I find it fascinating and kind of funny how long I have thought about starting my own business. 

There have been so many false starts, and so many blocks and hurdles along the journey. I have been waiting endlessly to have the "right" idea, being in the "right" place and being surrounded by the "right" people. Everything being perfect. Ultimately, the feeling of being “ready”. 

In my defence, I do feel there were some really honest efforts made to overcome those hurdles.

I can think of several situations where I tried to stop listening to the excuses and where I was really trying to make things happen. Running with an "idea", accepting the current situation I was in and ignoring that I wasn’t feeling ready still.

To many external measures, it probably appeared like it was working. 

But within myself I still struggled with motivation and momentum as I believed I needed to find the perfect idea, execute it flawlessly ad know the perfect final outcome before even starting. 

For years, I worked in several  "start up" businesses, seeing career progression, accumulating responsibility and I felt I earned the respect of my peers. 

In this drive for success, I unwittingly stumbled into a personal development trap, I call this the trap of expertise chasing.

Expertise had a particular allure to me. Underneath my entire journey was a deep, deep fear of failure. Failure to not live up to the idea of who I thought I should be and even how I thought others thought I should be. 

I am sure this fear is familiar to many. 

To someone who fears failure, knowledge can feel like armour. 

The simple logic goes: 

If I know enough, I have the ability to avoid mistakes.

If I can avoid mistakes, I have the ability to avoid  failing.

The beginning of the trap. 

And the result of the never ending expertise chasing is that you never take the leap. You always wait for more knowledge, further improving your skills and expertise, the feeling of being ready. 

Really the feeling of the fear of failure having disappeared. But it doesn’t. Ever. 

So what changed? 

How come now was the point reached to take the leap? 

The truth is: 

I still don’t feel ready. 

I’m still afraid of failure. 

I still want to gain more knowledge, build more, test more, prepare more.

But I had to admit to myself: 

I may never feel fully ready. 

The only way forward is through action - because at the end of the day, if I don’t take the leap - ever - I won’t have tried and failed, I will have failed due to lack of trying.

In my books, that feels worse than trying and giving it my best shot and failing - at least then I might get to go again. 

Reality is, though, the fear hasn’t and won’t go away - but I have come to the point in my life that my purpose and my calling has become louder and stronger than my fear. 

Our purpose of helping raise our collective consciousness. 

This business feels like a perfect medium to play my part in this purpose: I get to use my expertise to help others - so they can focus fully on the work they are truly here to do. The work that matters. 

Does fear still sneak in and raise their voice and concerns in a effort to protect me? 

Heck yeah! 

But now I have the tools to calm and assure those parts. To tell them that the risk is worth it and either way we will be ok. 

Is fear stopping you from taking the leap? What is that fear and what would help you taking action and going all in - maybe an easy to use online platform to take care of the admin of your business ;) 

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